Monster Hunter 4 Honest opinions
by MaxGrizzly
Summary: Me describing Monster hunter 4 in the style of honest trailers


In a world where humans defy all physics and science comes…monster hunter. See hunters all over the world join forces to crush those destructive monsters around them, or they can just cower in a corner and let the professionals do it. With more dynamic hunter and monster movements, beautiful environments as well as the scenery; and those god awful frame rates, let's take a look at.

**The hunters!**

No matter how much they get clawed and attacked. Stabbed lethally by horns. Trampled by a wyvern's might. Hipchecked and tail whip to oblivion. Being poison and paralysed by monsters. Being burned by fireballs. Blasted by high pressured water cannons. Strike down by powerful shots of electricity. Chilled by sub zero temperatures. Zapped by dragon's lighting. Having the potential to bleed to death. Being exploded by slime. Even being eaten alive. At the end of the day, nobody ever dies.

**The weapons!**

The roster of weapons have been increased with two new weapons. The charge blade, a more flamboyant version of the switch axe and the insect glaive…let's face it everyone will be using this. See everyone of this new generation of hunters be obsessed with mounting the monster and having pre written messages like "I am mounting…f*** off" when they are mounting one.

**The monsters!**

These pussy freaks of nature just keeps getting weirder after every game. See the tiring return of the rathian and rathalos as they struggle to be significant once more...this is a joke please don't kill me. In order to keep the game's rating to "T" or at least to PG 13, no monsters can kill off any of the hunters in the trailers, those sad pussy seregioses.

See the gore magala ravage the lands of this new part of the world with his infectious disease in the first part of the game. After that we'll have to repel a kushala daora in a disappointing final battle as every monster in the world wants to destroy that one town of dundorma even if it kills them. Oh how I miss those tri ultimate days when all you do is to impress the guild with your hunting abilities.

**Your caravan!**

See them follow you around to do your chores, running behind your back like errand boys and girls. Going to Harth by foot to polish your relics. Then travel by sea to Sunsung and running the chance of being spotted by Seregioses or Gore Magalas just to play a bunch of mini-games. Then by ship and then on foot to fortified dundorma to get a few portable steam traps and dusts of life. Followed by an airship trip to mountainous Cathar to meld a few pieces of talismans. Then finally back to Val Habar for the sake of going back to Val Habar before you jump from your gathering hall to the elder hall. Going back to Dundorma, your crew will love you for this!

**The desire sensor!**

This mysterious force is back in its fourth installment as hunters all over the world rolled their eyes in lament. You'll carve a scale off a tail when you all you want is the tail and even a ruby or mantle when all you want is the mother-bricking tail! See hunters stare at other friends in jealousy when their friends all get three mantles in a match and all you got was a miserable ruby of insignificance. But when it happens to you, you are god.

**Featuring the all new casts of monsters…**

Seltas- Pimp

Seltas Queen- Prostitute

Desert Seltas- Diablos wannabe

Desert Seltas Queen- Mama June

Ruby Basarios- Red Rock Bidder Baby

Nerscylla- Your nightmares

Shrouded Nerscylla- Your nightmares

Zamtrios- Freshman 200

Tigerstripe Zamtrios- Tongue of the fat man

Kecha Wacha- Lemurelephantflyingsquirrel

Ash Kecha Wacha- Ash ketchum

Najarala- Dalamadur wannabe

Tidal Najarala- Nessie

Tetsucabra- Noob fodder

Berserk Tetsucabra- Explosive bullfrog

Molten Tigrex- A slower ass tigrex

Seregios- A chicken

Gore magala- Toothless

Shagaru magala- A shiny

Dahren Mohran- Jennifer's Sister Darlene

Oroshi Kirin- My little ice pony

Dalamadur- Raviente wannabe

Catch this wonderful game in stores now…Monster hunter 4 ultimate!


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